You'll need holiday from this holiday
by Elizabeth Bartlett
Summary: Nothing's normal in Cardiff anymore, including holidays.
1. Around Town

A/N: This fic is for Reefgirl, who wanted a ficlet where the Sues to vacation in Cardiff and run into the TW crew. For those who don't know who the Sues are here's a quick intro;

Lydia Winter: Physicist (Retribution!-BiteMeTechie)

Crysta Santella: Biochemist (Travels Of An UnSue Mary Sue-NenyaVilyaNenya)

Alex Ramsey: Head Chef (Cooking With Blue Mary Sue-Reefgirl)

Maxine 'Max' Wainwright: Teacher (Not Your Normal Teaching Job- by none other than me.)

Spoliers for SGA season3 and season2 for TW. Don't own Torchwood, I only play in the sandbox. Reveiw's are love (and so are cookies, but reviews are so much better and healthier for you in the long run).

* * *

"Remind me _why_ we're here again?" Lydia groused after narrowly avoiding getting run over by a bicyclist. 

"Because we got you away from McKay." Crysta replied, gazing across the street. They were into the last weeks of their month-long leave from Atlantis and there wasn't much to do after reporting into their respective department heads. The two of them plus their other friends, Max and Alex, had decided that they needed to go somewhere different for a change and had picked Britain as the perfect spot. Cardiff was their last stop after going to England to visit Alex's family, then traveling to Scotland to visit Carson's grave and family.

"I think he's gonna like these." Max commented as they walked out of the shop with their purchases. She had wanted to look around the Cardiff shopping district and maybe get some ideas for the wedding but Lydia and Crysta had wanted to check out the wharf so they had compromised by splitting up and planning to meet up later.

Spotting Crysta waving across the street, Max waved back and moved to step off the curb when a black SUV sped past with feet to spare. She watched the car continue to speed down the street, heart pounding at the near miss.

"Shit Max," Alex cursed seeing how pale her friend had gone after almost getting run over. "you all right?"

"Besides the slight heart attack, I'm fine." Max replied, taking a deep breath. As Crysta and Lydia crossed the street she muttered to herself, "Stupid drivers; think they can get extra points by hitting pedestrians."

* * *

"Watch it Owen!" Gwen yelled from her position in the back as the SUV narrowly avoided running someone over. 

"Bloody pedestrians." Owen muttered as he rounded the corner and sped down the street. "Think they own the road."

* * *

"So what do people want to do today?" Lydia asked as the four of them sat around the table outside as they waited for their orders. After Max's near miss they decided to spend the rest of the day around the hotel pool. Now they were at a little café just down the road from the hotel having breakfast. 

"I want to check out the Castle."

"Water Front."

"I'm up for anything."

"We still have two days left until we leave, why don't we save the Water Front for our last night? From what the clerk at the hotel told me they have some pretty kick-ass clubs down there." Lydia offered up. "Although he did tell me to stay away from two of them, apparently some really weird stuff happens there."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "Considering where we work, I think all of us can handle a little weird."

"That's what I said, but then the guy said that Torchwood had been to both places and afterwards one of them had been completely trashed; needed to shut down for repairs."

"Who's Torchwood?"

"Got me."

Crysta shrugged, "Who cares as long as we can have a good time, right?"

Just then there was a shout and they all turned in time to see a man dressed in tattered period clothing and blond hair go running past. The man was followed closely by a small group of people; three men and one woman with one of the men dressed in period clothing as well.

They were gone in a matter of seconds and the four of them were left wondering what had just happened. A quick glance around told them that no one else was gawking at the sight, most everyone was going about their morning routine, and for a few seconds the girls wondered if they had even seen the group run past.

* * *

"This is the last time!" Jack fumed as he, Owen, Ianto, and Gwen ran after John, hoping to catch the man before he made it through the rift with the alien artifact. It was theirs; they found it first, having come through the Rift a few years before, and now John had somehow gotten his hands on it despite it being in secure lock-up (although Jack had to admit that the man was good picking any kind of lock). 

Honestly, he thought that they would've learned by now that having the man show up would bring them nothing but trouble. But this only fit with the theme of the week; save the world every single fucking day or die trying.

* * *

"Care to explain to me why you two want a picture in front of a water sculpture?" Crysta asked while holding the camera and looking at Lydia and Max with a raised eyebrow. 

"Because it's something a tourist would do and for once I want to play the 'ignorant American'." Lydia replied, staring back at Crysta.

Max nodded, "That would be nice for a change and if someone got angry at us they wouldn't aim something pointy making us run for out lives."

Crysta just rolled her eyes while Alex sniggered at the statement. Although she wouldn't admit it, Crysta was secretly glad that if they made a faux pass here they wouldn't have to run like hell to stay alive unlike if they were in the Pegasus Galaxy. "Fine, go stand beside the fountain and I'll take the picture."

"It's not a fountain, it's a water sculpture." Lydia retorted as she and Max stepped up onto the curb.

Crysta looked through the viewfinder but couldn't see either one. Lowering the camera, she stared at the structure in front of her to see where the two of them could've gone. "Where'd they go?" she asked Alex.

"Got me, I was staring at the brochure for a second and when I look up they're gone."

"Any idea where they went?"

"Hell if I know."

"Maybe they decided to be juvenile and hide on the other side." Crysta mused out loud. "I think we should go take a look."

"Why isn't she taking the picture?" Max asked as she and Lydia stared at Crysta. It had looked like she was going to take it for a few seconds, but then she pulled down the camera and started to talk to Alex.

"Hey Crysta!" Lydia shouted from where they were standing, but Crysta ignored Lydia. "CRYSTA!!" She still didn't get a response and then both of them went off, leaving her and Max behind.

"What the hell?" Lydia asked stepping off of the curb and pulling Max with her. "Hey guys!"

Crysta stopped short when she suddenly heard Lydia's voice and turned around to see the two running towards her and Alex. "Dude," she replied, as they grew nearer. "where'd you guys go?"

"What are you talking about? We were standing right there, _you_ were the one who decided not to take our picture and suddenly walk off."

"Excuse me?" Crysta asked, raising an eyebrow. "It was _you two_ who decided to suddenly walk off. And how'd you do that by the way? Did you steal McKay's cloaking prototype, Lydia? I thought that he hadn't perfected it yet."

"No I didn't steal the prototype." Lydia retorted. "And for your information I wouldn't have to steal it; I'm the one who came up with the idea and Carter assigned him to help me."

"Uhuh." Crysta replied, not convinced. "Whatever let's go back to the hotel and change if we want to get to the bar before it's packed."

* * *

"They gone yet?" Jack called out as he came down the stairs from his office. It had been a long day; yet another 'save the world from certain destruction' and he knew that everyone needed a drink before heading home, which is why he suggested that they all head to the bar for a few rounds. 

They had decided to use the invisible lift but before they could use it Tosh's computer had picked up some girls standing right over it so that meant they had to wait until the coast was clear. Jack would've had them go through the surface entrance, but Ianto had already closed up shop and it would've looked a little strange to have a group of people exit the building a number of hours after closing.

"Just left." Tosh replied after glancing at the screen.

"Good, now who's buying?" Jack asked with a grin.


	2. Chance Meeting

A/N: see chapter one for the disclaimer and fyi Lydia and Max are talking about the band 'Asia' and not the continent. review please!

The bar was full of people chatting away with their dates or the group they came in with, music playing in the background, the lighting just dim enough for all sorts of things to go unseen, and as Max made her way through the crowd towards the bar she couldn't help but think that this was a nice way to end their trip.

"You must be new to the area, 'cause I would've seen you here before."

Surprised to hear the American accent, Max looked to her side and saw the man next to her grinning. Shaking her head she replied, "Nope just here for one more night."

"Really?" the man stuck out hand while saying. "Captain Jack Harkness."

"Maxine Wainwright." Max replied, returning the handshake. "Any relation to the Jack Harkness from World War Two?"

"Maybe, why?" Jack asked while raising an eyebrow, hardly anyone nowadays made the connection and when someone did they were mostly part of the older generation.

"I did my graduate paper on the British Military Infrastructure during the Blitz and mentioned how he was instrumental in training the Welsh division of the RAF."

"That's a mouthful, hope you didn't get tongue-tied when you had to present it."

Max shrugged, "Sort of, but that was mostly nerves. You never answered my question; any relation?"

"My grandfather. Are you here by yourself? I could buy you a drink and we could talk." Jack asked turning up the charm and deliberately steering away from the topic of "his" past.

"No thanks, already got some." Max said just as the bartender set the glasses filled with beer down in front of her.

"Aw, c'mon; what's the harm in one drink?"

Max raised an eyebrow at Jack's persistence and shook her head, "Sorry, my friends are waiting and I'm engaged." After speaking she picked up the items and then walked away from the bar, but smiling to herself as she did so; it had been awhile since someone had flirted with her and it felt good to know that it could still happen.

"Who was that?" Alex asked as Max carefully set the glasses down.

"Just some guy trying to pick me up." she replied sitting down.

Jack watched Maxine return to the table where her friends were and saw them laugh. Picking up the drinks his team had ordered, Jack weaved his way through the crowd and knew that they had been watching the entire exchange and that he'd never hear the end of it the rest of the night.

"Look who just got shot down." Owen smirked as Jack drew near.

"It's still early and she's got friends." Jack stated as he set the glasses down.

* * *

"...that's why he says that Asia is a death omen." 

"But Asia is awesome." Lydia protested.

"Sure if you don't want to die." Max replied as another round of pints were set down on the table. They all looked up in confusion because they still had half of their second one left and hadn't ordered any more.

"From the guy over at the bar." The waitress said.

All four women looked over to that direction and saw Jack looking right at them, smiling. "You're kidding me." Lydia muttered as she stood and made her way towards him.

Jack watched Lydia make her way towards him and put on his most charming smile, the one that he knew always worked. "I see you got the glasses." He stated when she was near enough.

"Yeah we did. Why'd you send it over?"

Jack shrugged and leaned casually against the bar, "Didn't want you to have to stop the fun just because you needed a refill."

"What makes you think we were going to need a refill?"

"Seemed like the four of you were having quite a time."

"Well it is our last night here-"

"Last night, huh? Looks like you're really tearing up the town."

Lydia smirked, "That's later after we hit the strip club. It was a nice thing to do, but we're not interested and I'm sure that there are more girls in here that are dying to turn you down."

Jack just laughed, he loved nothing more than a girl with spunk; something this one had plenty of. "You're feisty."

"And you're a flirt." Lydia replied without batting an eye.

Jack grinned even wider and was about to suggest that both of their groups sit together when he saw Maxine and her other friends walking towards them.

"We hate to break up the thrilling conversation you two seem to be having but we need to go." Crysta said when they were closer to the pair. "You know early flight and all that."

"You never told me your name." Jack said as Lydia started to walk away from him.

Lydia paused and looked back at Jack before replying, "Lydia Winter. And yours?"

"Jack Harkness."

"Well, Jack Harkness, have a nice time getting turned down by girls the rest of the night." Lydia replied before walking away with Alex, Crysta and Max.

"He's cute."

"He's such a John Sheppard. I'd be surprised if they weren't somehow related." Lydia responded as they stepped out into the night.

Jack watched Lydia, Max, and their other two friends walk out and wondered what exactly they did. He'd have to ask Tosh to look them up tomorrow.

* * *

"What do you mean our flight's cancelled?!" Lydia asked Crysta as they stood by the terminal. They had made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare and had gotten through security with little trouble but now it looked like all that waiting and standing in line was for nothing because of the fact that it looked like they weren't leaving as originally planned. 

Crysta shrugged, "The only thing I could get out of them was that UNIT and Torchwood had the tower ground all flights and they have no idea when they'll start up again. And that was _after_ showing my U.S. Government ID by the way."

Lydia closed her eyes while sighing, "_Damn Torchwood, if I ever get to meet them then I can't insure that they'll have all their body parts when they leave._"

Opening her eyes she saw that her three friends were staring at her. "So what do we do until then? I'm sure that all the hotels are booked by now and I do _not_ want to stay in a hostel again…that one time was bad enough."

"We could try the one we were at, see if they had at least one room open." Alex offered up.

"Or we could try Heathrow; see if they have any flights before Thursday." Crysta suggested.

"And what if they don't? We're supposed to leave on Saturday and I highly doubt that we can get the _Daedalus_ to swing by and pick us up." Lydia replied, while gently massaging her temple in an attempt to stave off the headache that she knew was starting to brew.

"I have a friend in London; maybe she could let us crash at her place if we can't get a flight here and have to wait for one in Heathrow." Max offered up. "Although I don't know if she's still at the same flat, it's been a few years since we've talked."

"Call her, at this point I'll take whatever we can get."

Max shrugged, pulled out her phone and looked up the number. Hitting 'send' she waited for the other end to pick up.

"_Hello?_"

"Martha? It's Max. I might need a favor…"

* * *

Jack sped down the road towards the airport and as he did half listened to what Tosh was telling them about the Trilobites. They had come through the Rift last night and the team had been racing since then to contain them. The "bastard Tribbles" (as Owen called them, but Jack thought they were more like Gremlins) liked anything mechanical and so far had gotten into some of the more important machinery in Cardiff but had been gotten rid of easily. 

It had been so easy that Jack had wondered if there wasn't something more to them when Tosh's computer had detected a disturbingly large number of the things at the airport, turns out they loved the type of metal the planes were made out of and it didn't take a genius what they had in store for the airport.

So in true Torchwood fashion Jack got on the phone to Martha and had asked for a favor; get all the flights grounded so they didn't end up crashing to the ground. She had been only too happy to help, but said that he owed her one; what that meant Jack didn't know but got the feeling that he'd find out soon enough.


	3. Not So Chance Meeting

A/N: Things go slightly AU for the SGA 'verse here, and see chapter one for the disclaimer. Review please!

Max, Alex, and Crysta all sat in their seats in the terminal while Lydia lay lounging across two, each wondering how long the delay was going to last when Max's phone rang and picking it up she saw from the Caller ID that it was her fiancée.

"Hey," She said while mouthing who it was to her friends. "what's going on?"

"_I got your message, you still in Wales?_"

"Yeah, all the flights are still cancelled and even at this point if they did suddenly start up again we'd most likely have a hard time getting onto one before tomorrow."

"_What about Heathrow?_"

"Still iffy, I talked to Martha and she said that we could crash at her place if we had to get a flight out of there. I just hope that we make it before the _Daedalus_ leaves." Max commented as she dimly heard everyone else's phones ringing in the background.

"_I'm sure that after helping Torchwood they'll help you guys get on a flight._"

"Help Torchwood?" Max echoed, confused at the statement. "What are you talking about?"

"_Didn't you get the call from General Landry?_"

"No, I've been talking to you."

"_Oh, well I better get going so the others can tell you about the assignment._"

"What assign-" Max started to say but he had already hung up and she was talking to the dial tone. Sighing, she closed her phone and looked to her friends who were gathering up their bags. Automatically picking up her own she followed while asking, "What's going on?"

"Landry called telling us we're back on the clock early." Lydia said as they started moving down the terminal. "Since genius here showed her government ID to the lady at the counter it somehow got passed along to the UNIT officer here and they made a quick call to _their_ HQ who then called the SGC explaining what was really going on. So, long story short we've been drafted into helping them make sure the place doesn't fall to pieces."

"Can't they handle it by themselves?"

"Apparently not." Lydia commented as they made their way back to the main concourse of the airport. "We're supposed to meet the UNIT guy by the international gate. Not sure of his name but he'll be wearing a red beret."

They found their contact, whose name was Austin, with hardly any difficulty since it wasn't hard to miss the red cap and military dress in a sea of suits and casual wear, and almost immediately headed towards the tarmac. As they walked Lydia asked, "So what do you guys need our help with exactly?"

"Not us," Austin replied as he opened the door leading to the outside. "Torchwood needs the help; they're in charge of this one."

"Who _is_ Torchwood exactly? We keep hearing that name." Crysta shouted in order to be heard over all the ground noise.

Austin looked at the ladies like he thought they were pulling some kind of joke on him but when he saw that they weren't said, "They've been monitoring the Rift over the town since Queen Victoria created the agency and clean up most of the strange things that happen around here." And as if on cue a black SUV came speeding around the corner and down the tarmac, headed towards them. "That would be them."

* * *

"Did Martha say who'd we be working with?" Gwen asked Jack as they neared the international hub of the airport. 

"Not specifically." A few minutes after he had finished talking to Martha she had called back saying that she was calling in that favor; a special ops group from the States would be helping them.

Jack, of course, had protested saying that they could handle it themselves but Martha replied that there was no arguing this time; she had orders from her superiors that since this was an international airport one of the Trilobites might stow away on a trans-continental flight and if it went down in the middle of the ocean then it would become an international incident and there would be a lot of questions that would go unaswered.

Knowing that they didn't want another one of those; the rift opening up a few years ago had been bad enough, Jack reluctantly agreed and after rounding the corner saw the familiar red of UNIT. Coming to a fast halt, everyone started to get out of the car and as Jack made his way around the front of the vehicle saw four familiar faces.

* * *

Lydia, Alex, Crysta, and Max all took a step back as the black SUV with 'Torchwood' etched into the sides came to a halt not far from where they had originally stood. Max took one look at it and said, "Hey, _that's_ the car that almost ran me over!" 

"You sure?" Crysta asked, raising an eyebrow at the statement.

"I think I'd remember something like that." Max retorted as doors started to open and, who they guessed to be Torchwood, started exiting. Then the driver came around and they saw that it was Jack.

"_You're_ Torchwood?" Lydia asked, more than a little surprised at the turn of events.

"Yes, and I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're the special ops team from the U.S." Jack replied as he walked around the rest of the car to join everyone else. "We don't have time for a staring contest so I'll make the introductions; Owen Haper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones, and Gwen Cooper." Jack said pointing to everyone in turn as he moved towards the back of the car.

"Lydia Winter, Crysta Santella, Alex Ramsey, and Max Wainwright." Lydia said as everyone followed him. "So how do we have to save the world?"

"Not the world, just the airport."

"Whatever, what's going on?"

"They're called Trilobites." Tosh piped up, looking at her palm pilot. "They slipped through a crack in the Rift last night and we've been scrambling to get them contained since. They like anything made out of metal, particularly anything made out of composite metals and can hold a lot of weight. We found a large number at the airport and-"

"That's why you cancelled all the flights." Crysta finished with Tosh. "Where are they?"

"Tosh got the location narrowed down to this row of planes." Jack said, coming out from the back with weapons in his hands and as he tossed one to everyone continued, "That's where you come in; we can split up and cover more ground effectively."

Crysta caught one of the weapons and looked at it; surprised at the familiar design. "How'd you get an ARG?" she asked, looking at her friends for conformation and they all nodded in agreement.

Jack tossed the last weapon to Tosh and looked at the four women, "ARG?"

Lydia raised an eyebrow and wondered if he was joking. When she realized that he wasn't replied, "Anti-Replicator Gun. How'd you get it? Last time I checked those were only for SGC use."

Jack just looked at Lydia with confusion plainly evident on his face; for once he had no idea what they were talking about. "These came through the Rift a number of months ago and Tosh figured out that they make anything held by nanities go to pieces. Literally."

"They should work since that's what holds these particular bugs together." Tosh added as everyone started checking to make sure the weapons were loaded.

"_Shit._" Lydia found herself thinking after hearing after Jack's and Tosh's statements and she could tell by the looks on her friends that they were thinking the same thing. Just what they needed right now; another Asuran invasion. But she didn't have time to voice her fears as Jack had started pairing them off.

"...Owen and Alex, Lydia you'll go with Ianto, and Tosh you can coordinate with Austin from here. We only have so long before they start to weaken the structures." Jack said closing the hatch and moving away from the car with Max not far behind him.

The others started to move as well and as Lydia walked with Ianto to their assigned plane she couldn't help but sigh; this was't how she planned on spending the rest of her leave.


	4. Page Out of the Movies

"A teacher huh?" Jack asked Max as they made their way down either side of the aisle inside the plane. "Don't you guys tend to give something more like 'energy consultant' or something dull so people don't press?"

Max glanced briefly at Jack before looking back down. "If by 'you guys' you mean special ops, I guess so and I really am a teacher; used to teach secondary school."

"Used to?"

Max slightly cringed at the slip but calmly replied, "I teach more of a muti-level class now."

There was a shriek behind them and they turned around in time to see a metallic-looking animal come hurtling towards Max. Jack moved to shoot the thing but before he could squeeze one off a blue pulse engulfed the animal and it fell to the floor in pieces.

"You ok?" Jack asked, looking up from the pile to where Max was standing, her weapon still pointed at the thing…or what was left of it.

"I'm fine, just startled is all." Max said as she looked at the pile of chips and took a deep breath, glad that improved reflexes were the one good thing to come out of living in Pegasus. "I take it that's one of the Trilobites."

"You got it right in one."

"Nice to know." Pulling out her phone she continued to look at the strange creature; it wasn't like any of the Replicators she had seen; this was different. Granted the thing was still made out of the same blocks but at the same time it was different. How she didn't know but figured that either Crysta or Lydia would because even though she had joined the SGC while they were fighting the Replicators she hadn't seen then in real life; everything she knew about them were from mission files and from dealing with the Asurans in Pegasus.

* * *

Lydia was in one of the more uncomfortable and awkward positions in her life and of course that's when her phone chose to ring, since that's how the universe worked for her. It was on the floor, just across from her, and of course Ianto was at the other end of the plane so he couldn't get it for her even if she wanted him to. 

"Great." Lydia muttered to herself as she tried to contort herself in order to be able to reach the phone without having to actually move. It wasn't working and the phone fell silent before she had a chance to get to it, but then after a minute it started to ring again. This time Lydia didn't want to miss the call so she sacrificed location for accessibility and got to the phone a few rings before it went to voice mail again. "Hello?"

"_It's Max, you run into any of the things yet?_"

"No, have you?"

"_Yup. That's what I wanted to talk about; they're not Replicators._"

"You sure?" Lydia asked, getting up off of the floor. "'cause the fact that we have ARGs makes it pretty clear what these things are."

"_I'm telling you they're not. They're made up of the same blocks as the Replicators and have the same color but they look like kolas hopped up on steroids._"

Before Lydia could answer there was low talking in the background and Max said, "_Jack says they look like Gremlin's but I still say that they're homicidal kolas._"

"Whatever. When we find one I'll take a look at it." Lydia replied, glancing up and down the empty cabin. Ending the call, she shoved her phone into her back pocket and noticed that the area had suddenly taken on a horror movie-like feeling. Slowly she raised the ARG and hesitantly called out, "Ianto?"

Silence followed and the creepy feeling only increased. Feeling her heart rate increase she tried again, "Ianto?"

"Yes?" came the dim reply.

Lydia relaxed slightly at hearing the response, at least she knew that he hadn't been attacked or something, "You find anything yet?"

"No, although they must like the controls because I can hear them in here." Just after he spoke there was a screech and then a few seconds later what sounded to be coins hitting the carpet. Making her way to the front, Lydia arrived shortly to see Ianto straightening his jacket to the side of a pile of Replicator chips.

Looking down at the chips and then back up at Ianto she said, "I take it you have a handle on things."

"Yup."

"Good."

* * *

"Jack, the control tower wants to know if they can start up flights again." Tosh said into her headset as she tapped away at her keyboard inside the SUV. It had all ready been a few hours since they had started clearing the planes and the airport administration was starting to get antsy and tired of making up excuses as to why all the flights, both domestic and international, were cancelled until further notice. 

Tosh didn't blame them, if she had to listen to person after person complain that they were going to be late for one thing or another she'd want to get them on their way as soon as possible.

"No, I don't want a single thing in the air that's made out of metal until we get the last of these things." Jack replied making his way towards the back of the plane. "Tell them until Austin gets the all clear from us to keep everything grounded."

"_What if they want a reason?_"

"Then make up something, I don't care what it is as long as it keeps these things from flying." Jack finished as he reached the end of the cabin. Max was in the front, since he decided that the whole thing would be faster if they split up. "And Tosh, look up everything you can on our guests."

He wondered exactly what Max and the others did that was considered "special ops"; they were the most unlikeliest people to be in a profession that was so risky. But then again he'd seen some unlikely things since he'd been alive so nothing should surprise him anymore.

A shout drew Jack out of his thoughts and he realized that it had come from the front of the plane. He ran towards the commotion wondering what the hell was going on and saw Max slowly backing out of the cabin. Peering over her shoulder he could see that she was trying to fend off a rather large number of the little buggers.

Max took a step back and bumped into something. Sparing a glance backwards she saw that it was Jack. "Came to help?" she asked somewhat distractedly.

"If you want it." Jack replied as he pulled out his ARG.

"Yes please." Max said dodging to the left as a few of the Trilobites leapt towards her. Cursing under her breath, she wanted to know why they had gotten so resilient all of a sudden; they had been perfectly content to act like they didn't care until everyone had moved onto the last few planes in the row. However now it was like they were circling the wagons since their numbers were slimming down. But whatever the case was she couldn't wait until the things were all gone.

Since the pilot's cabin was cramped enough with one body in there, Jack knew that they had to move outside of the enclosed space. Putting a hand on her shoulder, he gently guided her back to where the hallway opened up. "_Now the fun can begin._" Jack thought as he opened fire on them.

* * *

"This is _not_ my idea of fun!" 

"Mine either!" Crysta shouted back to Gwen as they slowly moved backwards. Although compared to some of the things that had happened on Atlantis, this was a cake walk.

They had almost cleared out their last plane when all of a sudden the remaining bugs had started going berserk and attacking them. Now it was all they could do in order to keep the things at bay.

Gwen paused long enough to tap her headset before resuming her assault on the bugs, "Tosh, what's going on?"

Tosh's fingers flew over the keyboard as she tried to get a reading as to what was happening. "I-I-I don't know. They seem to be linked together, telling each other what's going on. I've never seen anything like it before."

"How are they linked together?" Jack asked, wondering why everything had decided to hit the ceiling at the same time.

Max heard Jack's question and paused in firing. "They're _what_?" she asked in a slightly panicked voice.

"Tosh says they're somehow connected and she has no idea." Jack replied after a moment's pause.

"_Shit._" Max thought as she resumed firing at the bugs. There wasn't any doubt in her mind now that they were Replicators and that only filled her with a sense of dread. Taking one hand off the gun to get her phone she pressed the speed dial for Lydia.

* * *

Not for the first time in her life Lydia was glad that she had played so many shooter games when she was younger; all those hours in front of the television screen had given her an edge over the other civilians when she first traveled to Atlantis and it was helping her here as well. Feeling her back pocket vibrate she wondered who could be calling her this time. 

Taking one hand off the gun, she pulled it out of her pocket and flipped it open, "I'm a little busy here."

"_Aren't we all? Listen; they _are _Replicators. Tosh just told Jack that they're communicating to each other, maybe that's why they suddenly went bonkers._"

"Has she figured out a way to stop them?"

"_Not that I know of._"

Lydia sighed; things liked to become complicated whenever they were involved. "Ok, I'll tell the others."

Quickly Lydia called Alex first and received a long stream of expletives (some of which she doubt were anatomically possible) aboutJack's wise choice of pairing her and Owen up, followed by even more choice language from both of them once Lydia relayed the most recent news. Shortly after that she called Crysta and soon was back to fighting the Replicators with both hands.

Only there was a slight problem; in the scant minutes that it took to tell her friends that the bugs were in fact those from Pegasus they had somehow started to multiply (and rather rapidly at that). So not only were they Replicators, but they were _Tribble _Replicators.

Things were going from bad to worse at a rather impressive rate.

* * *

Ianto didn't know how his weapon had gotten away from him. One second it was in his hand and the next it was skittering away from him, although he guessed that it had something to do with the Trilobite that had decided to launch itself at him. However that did leave him at a slight disadvantage since him and Lydia were outnumbered, that in itself did present a problem and he wondered how they were going to get out of this. 

"Use your gun!"

Ianto paused and looked at Lydia who was busy trying to hold back the things with just one gun. "Sorry?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Your gun. Use it. It's not as effective as an ARG but it'll get the job done."

Ianto paused, wondering if she was simply joking or was really serious. From the look of thunder she shot him when he hadn't move, he guessed that she had meant it. So he un-holstered his gun, took aim, and started shooting. The Trilobites started exploding into pieces of metallic material and Ianto couldn't help but get a urge to quote Bruce Campbell as he fired.

"See this? This...is my BOOMSTICK!" he yelled as another Trilobite burst into peices and he inched forwards to reclaim the ARG.

Lydia looked over to where Ianto was with a start when she heard him yell. It wasn't that it startled her, but that it sounded like he yelled something from _Army of Darkness_. But she wasn't sure what he had said exactly that because the noise level had increased dramatically and there was the chance he had been talking to one of the others on his headset. Dismissing the thought from her head, she focused back on the task at hand so they could finish the job before the next millenium.

A/N: Unfortunatly I don't own _Army of Darkness;_ that belongs to the awesomess that is Sam Rami. See past chapters for the disclaimers and Review please!


	5. Call the Calvary

A/N: Casting spolier for season five of SGA, and see past chapters for disclaimers. Review please!

"Aw…crap." Lydia said as the power pack in her ARG went from a bright blue to nothing. Well now she knew that these weren't from the SGC…or were an early prototype because the ones that they used back at the Mountain and on Atlantis never lost power. Now the only thing this one was good for was hitting someone if the need arose (a certain Captain came to mind at the moment). "This isn't good." 

Ianto, who had gotten back his ARG, cast a glance to the side and saw that Lydia was now the one without an effective weapon and he didn't have any spare cartridges for his sidearm making them one weapon short against a rather large horde of Trilobites. "No that isn't." he muttered, wondering what else could go wrong.

"_Everyone get back to the SUV._" he heard Jack say over the headset. "_There's too many; we need to regroup._"

"On our way sir." Ianto said starting to move towards Lydia in order to get them off the plane. "Let's go."

"What? Why?" Lydia asked as Ianto took hold of her arm and started to slowly guide her towards the door. 

"Orders, there are too many of these things."

"I could've told you _that_." Lydia muttered. It looked like she or one of the others were going to have to call in the big guns. 

* * *

"_Looks like we're gonna have to take matters into our own hands._" Max thought to as she ran down the tarmac, behind Jack, towards the Torchwood car. She could see other figures running towards them as well and guessed that it was the rest of the group. Coming to a fast stop in front of the car, Max made a bee-line for Crysta, Lydia, and Alex; bothgroups talking a mile a minute.

"Did you see? They _are_ some kind of Replicator."

"These aren't ARGs, the power packs are shit."

"We need something with bigger firepower."

"Do you think they're some kind of sub-species of Replicator?"

"Austin, tell the airport authority to seal off the concourse; I don't want these things spreading."

"That'd make sense given they're also bugs and Asurans."

"Knew the little bastards weren't anything good."

"-nothing like this before; they just started multiplying."

"We need to find a big enough electro-magnetic pulse to disrupt their circuitry." 

"Do you think they can help?"

"-maybe it's still in orbit."

"Make the call _now_." 

A sharp whistle broke through the noise and everyone fell silent, looking to where the noise had come from. 

Jack looked back at everyone and said in a normal voice, "We need to come up with a plan to get rid of these things. Tosh, can you find a place with a big enough EM pulse to get rid of these things?" 

"Looking right now." Tosh replied as her hands flew over the keyboard.

"No need." Lydia called out as she came around the corner of the car. "Help'll be here within a few seconds." 

Jack looked at Lydia with a mixture of confusion and surprise; he had expected them to be completely mind-boggled by the Trilobites but they seem to be taking all of this in stride. "Sorry?" he asked, wondering what she meant by 'help'.

"I made a call and got the SGC to have the _Daedalus_ to lend a hand when they're overhead." She said while glancing at her watch. "Which should be just about now."

And as if on cue, several blue pulses came down from the sky and covered the row of planes that held the Replicators. The group stared at the large metal structures for a few seconds, everyone silent, until the sound of a phone ringing broke the silence. 

Lydia picked up her phone and opened it while saying, "Yes sir, we saw it..no I don't think that any survived..yes we're going to take a look and make sure for ourselves..we'll call if we need more assistance." Closing the phone she sighed, relieved that the Replicators were finally dealt with and by seeing the looks on her friend's faces they were too.

For once Jack was at a loss for words. One moment they were about to be overrun by metal-loving bugs and the next something from the sky saved them. The four ladies seem to have taken the entire thing in stride and plus the conversation that he had just overheard only increased his curiosity. "Care to tell us what just happened?" 

Lydia smiled and said, "General Landry said that we should tell you and we will, just not here." 

"Then back at the Hub. But first we should go through the planes and make sure that everything got destroyed." Jack said, motioning for everyone to start walking back towards their assigned planes. 

Before they split up though, the four friends faced each other to hold a short conversation away from the ears of the others. "How'd you convince Landry to get the _Daedalus_ to step in and help?" Crysta asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"I told him the situation and how it might be a good time to test on the _Daedalus'_ newest Anti-Replicator weapon." Lydia replied with an 'I already know I'm a genius' smile. 

Max, Alex, and Crysta all smiled when they heard it and chuckled. "If we ever run into an Asgard that's still alive we gotta thank them for the core." Max replied once the laughter had subsided. 

"Hey! You four coming?" Jack called out to them when he saw the women still by the SUV. 

"Yeah, we're coming!" Lydia shouted back. 

As they headed towards the other group, including Tosh and Austin, Alex groaned, "Anyone want to pair up with Owen? I swear if I'm with him for another minute I might do something that might result in his death. Bastard kept trying to chat me up, asked if I was seeing anyone and when I was in town next." 

"Don't worry we won't tell Radek someone was hitting on you." Max teased while Alex shot her a look of thunder. "I'll partner with him and you can take Jack."

"You're a life saver."

"I know."

* * *

It didn't take long for them to survey the planes and once they were certain none of the Replicators had survived Jack had them hauled away for structural checks because since there had been so many of the things it was only logical to assume that they had used the materials around them to make more and he didn't want one to be cleared of the bugs only to fall apart while in the air. The companies weren't happy about losing planes but when Jack fed them the cover story of a hazardous chemical contamination their complaints stopped. 

After they had given the green light for flights to start up again, Jack called a cab for the ladies and told Gwen to go with them to make sure they got to the Plass all right and didn't get gypped by the driver, he knew that they could spot out-of-towners right off the bat and would charge double if they could get away with it. 

Once they went back inside the airport Jack slid behind the wheel of the SUV and started towards the Hub. Glancing in the mirror he asked Tosh, "You ever figure out what they do that's considered 'special ops'?

"They all work up in Antarctica with an international contingent and before that at Cheyenne Mountain, I'm still trying to hack past that." Tosh replied, eyebrows furrowing; there was some heavy duty encryption that she had never encountered before, whatever they were hiding they didn't want just anybody getting a peak. 

She still hadn't gotten passed the encryption by the time they arrived at the Hub and continued working on it while everyone moved around doing their post-mission routines; Ianto making the coffee, Owen rummaging through Autopsy, Jack avoiding the paperwork. Tosh tried everything she knew but nothing worked; it was like some entirely new type of code that she'd never seen before, almost alien if she had to guess. The others arrived shortly after Jack and everyone else did, coming down the lift, having left their bags back at the airport (Jack had put trackers on them while labeling them 'Torchwood' and said that if anyone messed with them they'd get a nasty surprise). 

"Wow." Crysta breathed, surprised at how much space they occupied underground. Gwen had explained the invisible lift to them, rationalizing yesterday's events, and then they had started down. 

"You said it." Lydia agreed, as the lift slowly halted. Stepping down she looked at Jack and asked, "How big is this place?" 

"Big enough." Jack replied with awink as he led the group up to the conference room. "So, care to explain how you knew what those things were back at the airport and why you called a Greek mythological figure to get rid of the bugs?" 

Lydia smiled at the question and glanced at her friends who were smiling as well. "You should have a seat, this might take awhile…" 

* * *

Jack looked at the four women after they had finished telling them about the Stargate and the last eleven years of the SGC. Now that he knew about the Program all those strange happenings when there was no Rift activity suddenly made sense. Gwen looked the most surprised out of them, but then of course she was still getting used to most of the strange stuff that they dealt with. 

"So you four.. Gwen trailed off, not sure how to finish her question.

"Travel through the Stargate on a regular basis." Crysta supplied. They didn't tell the group about Atlantis, things were pretty rocky there with Woolsey still trying to adjust to running the place and Landry had told Lydia that all they needed to know was about the Stargate and SGC; that maybe they could work out some kind of agreement to help each other if the need ever arose. 

"And those bugs.. Tosh asked, still trying to process what the four had just said and the fact that there were still some things left in this world that surprised her.

"Were Replicators." Lydia said, casting a glance to each of her friends. "Well…we _think_ they were Replicators, the chips have to be tested back the SGC to be sure. But they shouldn't be a bother any more."

"What if they are?" Owen piped up. 

"Then give the Mountain a call, they should be able to help you guys out with the _Apollo _or _Daedalus_, ARGs, or helping Tosh come up with a program. But if you get Rodney McKay try not to kill him, that's Lydia's job." Crysta said, nodding her head over towards her friend's direction. 

"And I'm sure that we can lend a hand if you ever need it." Jack replied standing and walking down the length of the conference room towards the projector. "That _is_ why you told us about the Project, right?"

Lydia shifted uncomfortably in her seat and knew that the others felt the same way, even though that had been the reason. "General Landry thought that we'd be able to work something out, after all we've been picking up some strange readings from here and now that we know what it is…maybe we could study it." 

"I'd be willing to share all the data I've collected on the Rift." Tosh offered, perking up at the thought of being able to share her work on the tear. She had always thought that she'd never be able to publish any of the material, and maybe she never would be able to, but at least she'd be able to share it with someone now.

"I'm sure that something can be worked out." Jack said while realizing that it looked like this was the start of a new partnership. But one thing bothered him and he needed to voice his concern. "Why haven't we heard of the SGC before? I'm sure that UNIT would've told us about you guys since we all seem to run in the same line of business." 

"Well we know how to keep a secret." Max spoke up. "Honestly, it seems that half the town, if not all of it, knows about you. Doesn't 'secret organization' mean anything to you guys?" 


	6. One for the Road

A/N: Implied Jack/Ianto. See past chapters for disclaimers and review please!

After the events of the day everyone wanted nothing more to do than relax and so they were doing just that; Crysta had spotted the hothouse and how some of the plants looked like they had seen better days so, after asking who takes care of them and learning it was Owen, berated him for letting them get like this while setting to work on trying to save those that refused to give up. Tosh and Lydia were going over some of the data that she had collected over the years, trying to see if there was any relation to 'gate and rift activity. Jack looked on in amusement while Gwen and Max were trading wedding planning horror stories.

"I've helped validate theories that would change the way we look at history, and dealt with the Genii; you'd _think_ that I could manage to get a caterer for the reception, but no. They all have to be booked."

"I know how that is; I had to try four different services before I found one and by that time Rhys said that if he ate one more crab puff he was going to turn into one." Ianto heard as he walked down to the little lounge area with a tray of coffee mugs and Alex not far behind with a second tray of sandwiches.

She had offered to help and they had spent a pleasant time getting the drinks and food for everyone; she had mentioned that she was the head chef in Antarctica and gave him a few tips on how to improve some of his favorite recipes which he'd have to try out next time Jack was over for dinner.

Everyone spotted the trays and made their way towards the pair, glad that they were finally able to relax for a period of time without having to worry what disaster might strike next.

Setting his tray down Ianto passed out the hot drinks while saying, "I managed to get you on a flight for ten tonight."

"So what do we do until then?" Lydia asked, a quickly glance at her watch which told her that they had just over five hours to waste until they were finally on their way. She didn't mind everyone here at Torchwood, it was just they were supposed to have been on their way home long before now and she (and everyone else) still had some packing to do before getting on the _Daedalus_ to head back to Atlantis.

"We could watch a movie." Gwen offered up after taking a sip of her coffee. "I know that we have a few around here somewhere."

"As long as it doesn't involve bugs of any kind I'm up for anything."

Gwen looked over to Ianto and asked, "Don't you still have _Army of Darkness_?"

Ianto shook his head as he set his now empty tray to the side, "Sorry, I took it home the other day, but I think we have _My Name is Bruce_."

Lydia looked up at the mention of the Bruce Campbell movies and raised an eyebrow when Ianto said he had the newest one. Setting her mug on the table she asked, "How can you have it? It's not out yet."

"I have a friend who got me an advance copy."

"Advance copy..." Lydia slowly repeated, her face taking on a dreamy like expression. "Did you like it?"

Max, Alex, and Crysta all looked at each other with worry on their faces; they'd seen that look before (namely whenever something was Rami, Campbell, or comic book related) and it never ended good.

"I did, but then again I'm a rather big Bruce Campbell fan so-"

Ianto was cut short by Lydia suddenly lunging for him. He let out a yelp of surprise as she wrapped her arms around him and next thing he knew they were hitting the metal grating. At first he thought that something was going to explode or fall right where he had been standing but then when he stopped seeing stars realized that Lydia was hugging him quite hard.

Everyone else had reacted with a mixture of emotions; at first Jack and the others thought that something was going to happen as well and all stood up, ready to jump into action but then when nothing happened wondered why Lydia had tackled Ianto while Crysta and Alex sighed while Max clapped a hand of her eyes and groaned, "Not again."

"She's done this before?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Lydia let go of him." Crysta said, standing and moving towards her friend. It was times like these that she doubted her friend's sanity but also knew that she couldn't help it.

"But-but-but he likes Bruce." Lydia stammered, not letting go of Ianto.

The three friends nodded their head and Crysta was about to peel Lydia off of Ianto when an alarm sounded from Tosh's computer. Everyone paused and looked towards the sound while Tosh scrambled up to see what was happening.

Sitting down in her chair she glanced at the screen and her eyes went wide at the readings. "There's been a massive spike in Rift activity," she called out as she started typing keys rapidly. "and we've got numerous Weevil sightings."

"Owen, Gwen get both cars; we'll split up and get as many as we can before they go underground." Jack said, starting up the stairs. Pausing half-way he turned around and asked, "Care to lend a hand? We could use the help and we'll be done in plenty of time for you to catch your flight."

"Why not? Sounds like fun." Lydia said, getting up from the floor and dusting herself off.

"What's a Weevil?" Max asked as they started towards the exit

"It's a bug." Crysta said, watching the team move.

"Not exactly." Jack said tossing on his coat. "But you'll get to see one soon enough."

* * *

Bright light assaulted Max's eyes and she groaned, rolling over and burrowing her face deeper into the pillows.

"C'mon, time to get up." Max heard a voice that was entirely too peppy for her liking at the moment and didn't respond, maybe he'd get the hint that she still wanted to sleep and leave.

But apparently he didn't since she felt the bed move and then, "How can you still be asleep? You've been doing that since you've gotten back."

Max sighed and turned to face her fiancée, "Because I haven't slept in two days."

"Actually, three if you take into account time change."

"Thanks." Max said, glaring at him as she sat up yawning. Tracking down the Weevils had taken longer than promised so the missed their flight and because of the delays they had caused before hadn't been able to get one until (very) late the next day.

Turns out that had been for the best because no sooner had they finished finding space for all the Weevils then the Rift monitor went off again, this time a person coming through; someone named John. None of the Torchwood staff had been pleased to see him and the girls recognized him from when he had run past the café. He kept them up all night and half the day chasing all over the entire town for something that hadn't even existed; he had been after the ARGs that the team had stored in the weapons locker at the Hub, apparently they went for a rather nice price on other worlds and he was trying to get some quick cash.

Fortunately, he hadn't gotten his hands on them and once he had been sent through the rift again both groups headed back to the Hub where they stayed until it was time for their flight. The others had caught a few hours here and there, but Max had been too keyed up on coffee and couldn't sleep on any kind of flight to begin with so after arriving at her apartment she had fallen into bed and hadn't stirred until she had been so rudely awakened.

He just smiled at Max and while glancing at his watch said, "You're gonna miss the _Daedalus _if we don't leave now."

"Screw the _Daedalus_," Max replied, sinking back down into the bed and pulling the covers around her. "Landry told us that since we gave up the last few days of our vacation to help Torchwood we could come on the _Apollo_."

"When does it leave?"

"In two weeks." Max yawned and smiled slightly as she heard the blinds being drawn and then felt him getting under the covers himself. Snuggling next to him she murmured, "Which is fine because I need a holiday from this holiday."


End file.
